Illogical

Dear Sir:
I just don't understand you. For a scientist, you show a remarkable lack of logic and insight into your own life. It boggles my mind. You have a job that you hate and that seems to hate you. This was your dream job not three months ago. The honeymoon lasted all of two weeks. You immediately begin the search for another position. You get offered a part-time position that you reject out of hand as beneath you. The job is a stepping stone - an opportunity to work for a multimillionaire with labs. It is a job in your field that has unbelievable networking potential. But you don't want to have to take a pay cut and build a lab. That would be all fine and good except that a breath later you state that you are willing to wait tables if you have to. WTF?! Really? You would rather wait tables then work this job that your friend lined you up for? If you fear failure and letting your friend down, then be honest about it at least with yourself.

I Hate Derek Chang's Koto

The little manager that works there is a total cunt and I hope she is run over by a car.

Progress of Sorts

I made it this morning without giving into the temptations of donuts and assorted breakfasty starches. I did not make through this afternoon and the stupid little bite size candies that are on my colleague's table. Instead I unleash my soon to be outer Homer Simpson and gorge myself on blasted butterfingers. So yummy.... mmm butterfingers.... On the plus side (pun intended), I have effectively increased my exercise. I now try to do something in the mornings before I head to work and walk in the afternoons. One of the lovely features of digital cable is the free zone's health & fitness selection. ExerciseTV classes featuring 10 min buns and thighs and Kim Kardashian's upper body workout have become staples. While I have gained 3 fricking pounds, I have slimmed down enough in order to fit into some of my older and therefore smaller fat clothes. I consider this a form of progress. But why does progress have to be so bloody slow? Probably because of the butterfingers, I know. Why can't I have the metabolism I enjoyed back in the 90s? Such a slim and attractive decade that was for me. Why?Why? Whine. Okay. Got that out of my system. My walks which until the oppressive heat of July involved some running have continued. It was cool enough for me to run a bit this weekend and yesterday - both times I managed to run a solid 1/2 mile on the homeward stint of my walk. I am pretty impressed with myself. I am tempted to see if I can make it even further...and tragically scared of failure. Not sure why. Sure the rest of the world can run/jog a mile without issue. As soon as the indoor track opens again, I plan to try for the full mile. I think all of the added cardio workouts have increased my ability to run. Thank you Kim Kardashian.

F#@k you very much

Ah Facebook has been a wonderful resource for catching up with friends from my past. It has also provided me with wonderful insight into the lives and political leanings of people I have lost touch with. I do not think that Fb is the place for political discussions among Fb friends. I ignore my Fb friends who have way different beliefs than I do. You think I shouldn't have a right to choose? You think Obama is the devil? I am fairly tolerant so long as you keep those comments off of my Fb page. They can be on yours all day long. I am mature enough to not write "YOU ARE A F*#$ING IDIOT" on your wall or below your unreasonable posts. So you should not be surprised or offended that I will delete such comments from my page should you post them. While we have very little in common other than a vague feeling of nostalgia, I remain disappointed that you would then "unfriend" me after all of the BS I saw you post before, during and after the election simply because I deleted your snotty comment. So f@#k you.

Theme Songs

Theme songs are important. I try to think of a theme song for each era of my life. At various points my theme songs have included "Crash" by the Primitives; "Six Feet Under" by No Doubt, "Dear God" by XTC, "Candy" by Iggy Pop. Well, you get the picture. Right now my theme song is "Hell Yes" by Alkaline Trio.
My animals also have theme songs. Cixous usually has the Scooby Doo theme song as her own. Right now it is "Radar Love". She is wearing an E-collar and it is hilarious. Every time I see her, the song goes right through my head. Austin's theme song had been Chumbawumba's "Tub Thumping" but I think it is now something by the Dave Mathews Band. He is a total frat boy. Kurzweil does not yet have a theme song. I think he might be MGMT sort of guy. But I am not certain. Still trying to figure him out.
When I hear certain songs, I will forever associate them with my animals. Sometimes they now make me cry since I miss them so much.

Shhh... Cube Life

Alright. I understand that cube life is not easy. I work in an office, but I still hear things. I have been told that cube life is not easy. That said, there are some ground rules that should be in place to make it all easier. I am talking about common courtesy. This is something that you should have picked up by now. (Like flushing the toilet when you are done - 2nd floor ladies, I am talking to you!). Apparently, common courtesy is becoming uncommon. So, let me re-introduce it to you. You should try to be respectful of people (and programmers) who are working in your vicinity. Some people are not as social as you are and are trying to actually get some work done. So, keep the guffaws and good times to a minimum - when possible. I think you should be able to enjoy your work environment, simply don't let your side of the cube resemble Grand Central Station or a successful comedy club. If you are one of the people (or programmers) that is trying to work amidst the social chaos of your cube neighbors, I wish you good luck. Your anti-social ways have gotten you far - as far as the social butterfly next door. I recommend that you chill out. Yes, your work product will no doubt be recognized. but if you yell, "Shut the f--k up!" at your cube neighbor..... well, that will be remembered more. Don't be that guy. Invest in some ear-buds. Listen to some white noise or actual music while you delve into your little php world. If the noise is deafening and you are about to lose your shit - you have a deadline and 500 lines of SAS to get through - simply ask your neighbor nicely to be quiet. Make it about you and not him or her. You are the one whose mind cannot process multiple things simultaneously after all. A suggestion would be,"Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but I am trying to meet a deadline and my mind cannot process code amidst your banter. Would you mind taking this conversation elsewhere?" See, isn't that easy?

Half Way to the Half Way Point

My battle for me has been going on for over a year now. When I started this journey I weighed 185. I ballooned up to 195 when I started exercising (because I am lucky like that). Now I am at 177. With my height, I need to be 156 in order to not be overweight according the BMI. I want to be 147. I think that would be ideal and it would take me to the other side of the scale. I would have a BMI of 23.4 which would still put me on the fat end of normal. However, I know that at 147, I will be able to wear a size 6 without issue. At 130, I am a size 0. Of course according to the BMI, I am not underweight until I cross the 115 threshold. What size is smaller than 0? Coffin sized? I have wonderfully heavy bones.
We are having a yard sale this coming weekend. I was going through what used to be my fat clothes (the size 8s) and was amazed at how fricking small I used to be and should be. I am saving a bottle of champagne for when I hit 160. Then when I hit my ideal weight, I am going to need a trip to the beach in my bikini. At this rate, it should take two more years. I can do it!!!!