Silence is Golden

Every day, my friend Staci's condition worsens so much so that you can see it. She is too weak to move into hospice so her remaining time will spent in the hospital and can now be measured in days or hours. I read another 30 pages or so today. She knew I came to read, but she really wasn't present for most of my time there. Her sleep is that fitful kind that dying brings. She alternatively coughs (which wakes her up) or she whimpers in psychic and physical discomfort. I hold one hand and her mom hold the other as she moans. Dying is not for wimps.

Strange Days

Talking about dying is not easy. I actually used "she won't be returning to work" as a euphemism for she is dying. Strange days to come....

The Saga Begins as the Journey Ends

My husband (a rather brilliant and handsome fellow) always says that getting old is not for wimps. Well, I am learning that neither is dying young. I am off in a few minutes to spend time with my friend, Staci, as she slowly fades into that good night. I have been asked by her not to make her laugh too hard since laughter hurts (no, it is not the best medicine after all). As all of my anecdotes are frickin hilarious, I am going to instead start reading to her instead of just chatting her up. Today we begin Italian Boss, Housekeeper Bride . That's right. I am reading her a Harlequin Romance. She has never read one. I believe there is a list of things one should experience before one dies and reading a super cheesy romance is on there somewhere. Sure, it is probably buried way below get a colonoscopy but it is there.

Just so wrong....

I went today to visit a friend of mine who is currently in the hospital. She has been battling cancer for a VERY long time now. Her current round of chemo has landed her in the hospital on IV foods. Needless to say, she is thin to the extreme or as I call it, "holocaust thin." The sick and horrible part? (Other than the terrible fact that she is suffering and so ill) A part of me envies her thinness. There I said it. My weight continues to creep upwards despite my best efforts and daily run. I realize that I would not want to suffer what she is suffering - I would have given up years ago - I'm too lazy for anything chronic. I hate that she is so thin since it means she is so close to death. But that little tiny part admires the size of her wrist and the definition of her cheekbones. I blame society.

Tech Snob

OMG. I never thought it would happen to me. I am not applying for a really interesting job because of the state of the institution's IT environment. The website is nice. It isn't that. They have an employment application that is tedious AND asks for SSN. I cannot believe they are randomly collecting sensitive data without adequate password protection. The application does not have any requirements for password strength. It is ridiculous. And to top it off, the application does not properly save data. I have become an IT snob. I cannot believe it. Kill me now.

Dear Lincoln Letter

Dear Lincoln Automotive:
While I am looking for an American car brand to replace Saturn in my heart, I do not think you and I will work out. It simply isn't a relationship I am ready to get into. It's not me. It's you. You are the brand of choice for old people and pimps. At 35 - going on 36, I do not consider myself "old" and I am not now nor have I ever been a "pimp". Okay, I was voted in high school likely to run a bordello when I grew up, however, madame and pimp are not the same aesthetic. I am writing to ask that you please stop marketing directly to me. Yes, your commercials feature some of my favoritest songs from my misspent youth. I get a kick hearing The Church's Milky Way and "4-3-2-1 earth below us...." and then am immediately horrified to be enjoying a Lincoln commercial. You are not cool to drive if you are a 35 year old woman of the world. So cut it out.
Sincerely,
Sadie

Happy New Year or whatever

I have spent the last (let me count...) 22 days with this bloody cold. I caught it from my niece and nephew on 12/24. I literally spent an entire day with two snotty noses. Mucus everywhere! My body valiantly tried to fight it off and failed on 12/29. I think the sudden cold snap also conspired against me. I am a seat heaters are on if it is 55 kind of a person. My body simply is not used to (nor should it be!) days of 30 degree highs. I live in the subtropics for a very good reason. Stupid climate change.
And stupid people who do not understand how global warming works.... yes, it makes it colder! It may be confusing since the term is "global warming" however, it is actually very simple. Warmer temps mean melting ice. Melting ice means shifting cold patterns in the sea which means shifts to the weather patterns. We are experiencing unprecedented extremes in temps. Not good. I hate being cold. I hate having a cold.
They make me grumpy. Very grumpy.