Tech Snob

OMG. I never thought it would happen to me. I am not applying for a really interesting job because of the state of the institution's IT environment. The website is nice. It isn't that. They have an employment application that is tedious AND asks for SSN. I cannot believe they are randomly collecting sensitive data without adequate password protection. The application does not have any requirements for password strength. It is ridiculous. And to top it off, the application does not properly save data. I have become an IT snob. I cannot believe it. Kill me now.

Dear Lincoln Letter

Dear Lincoln Automotive:
While I am looking for an American car brand to replace Saturn in my heart, I do not think you and I will work out. It simply isn't a relationship I am ready to get into. It's not me. It's you. You are the brand of choice for old people and pimps. At 35 - going on 36, I do not consider myself "old" and I am not now nor have I ever been a "pimp". Okay, I was voted in high school likely to run a bordello when I grew up, however, madame and pimp are not the same aesthetic. I am writing to ask that you please stop marketing directly to me. Yes, your commercials feature some of my favoritest songs from my misspent youth. I get a kick hearing The Church's Milky Way and "4-3-2-1 earth below us...." and then am immediately horrified to be enjoying a Lincoln commercial. You are not cool to drive if you are a 35 year old woman of the world. So cut it out.
Sincerely,
Sadie

Happy New Year or whatever

I have spent the last (let me count...) 22 days with this bloody cold. I caught it from my niece and nephew on 12/24. I literally spent an entire day with two snotty noses. Mucus everywhere! My body valiantly tried to fight it off and failed on 12/29. I think the sudden cold snap also conspired against me. I am a seat heaters are on if it is 55 kind of a person. My body simply is not used to (nor should it be!) days of 30 degree highs. I live in the subtropics for a very good reason. Stupid climate change.
And stupid people who do not understand how global warming works.... yes, it makes it colder! It may be confusing since the term is "global warming" however, it is actually very simple. Warmer temps mean melting ice. Melting ice means shifting cold patterns in the sea which means shifts to the weather patterns. We are experiencing unprecedented extremes in temps. Not good. I hate being cold. I hate having a cold.
They make me grumpy. Very grumpy.

More dictionary terms

pain: what you feel for two days after a Jillian Michaels workout.

hunger: fat leaving your body

metabolism: something I lost at age 25.

happiness: fitting into my size 8 slacks again.

Marriage

I hear way too often about the "sanctity" of marriage and the importance of family values - usually from people who have nice glass houses and a habit of tossing rocks. Marriage is first and foremost a business relationship. Anyone that says differently is likely not married or not going to be married for very long. A healthy marriage is a partnership of equals (and I don't mean finances here - I mean everything else) each giving of their time, attention, affection to the goals, dreams and worries of the other.
A friend of mine is about to embark upon an arranged marriage of sorts. His parents have been sorting through a bevy of prospective brides, sending him pictures of their top choices. He has selected one and is pursuing a relationship. It surely beats the efforts so many folks go through with corporate matchmakers like eHarmony match.com. But I think this only works within a culture that values marriage not as a magical romantic happily ever after prospect but as a partnership where love grows.
I started thinking about the type of wife my in-laws would have selected for my husband. It would not have been me and the marriage would have been a total loss. I can tell you now that she would be an elementary school teacher that plays the violin beautifully. My in-laws would want a daughter-in-law that was smart but not too smart, quiet and sweet, musically inclined and would look to her husband for guidance. I am so not that person. You are welcome, honey.

More Terms for My Dictionary

jeans: the preferable arbiter of relative fitness
scale: one who hates me
alcohol: sweet delicious goodness that translates to belly fat
longevity: arm fat

Sadie's New Dictionary

Exercising has changed the way I think about a lot of words. I am now revising some of them to better fit my world view.

determination: a battle of wills involving fat and my body

discipline: going for a run when it is too cold to get out of bed.

myth: see also "runner's high"