Veteran's Day

As a military brat, Veterans Day is a bittersweet day for me. I grew up in the military, having instilled in me patriotism and a great respect for our men and women in uniform. My problem is that as a third culture kid, the military was my de facto home and I know longer have any ties beyond my memories to it. As a brat, there is no going home. Once you are no longer a dependent, you lose all ties to the only stable piece of your childhood that you had. I look wistfully at folks in uniform, feel a deep connection to their lives yet I am completely removed from it. This is why so many of my classmates either signed up themselves for a military career or are now military spouses.
When people ask the question, "Where are you from?" I now can answer I live in Baton Rouge. Not really the direct answer to the question. I am not from anywhere. I grew up in a bizarre world that only a few folks can really understand. My eyes light up when I see a military base. I am not allowed on it, yet I want so much to walk around, see the familiar sights, hear the familiar sounds... there is nothing like waking up to Reveille or pulling your car over and standing up for Taps at the end of the day. These rituals I miss.

The Sadie Factor

Unfortunately, the LSU Tigers were defeated this weekend by Auburn. While I believe that our offensive coordinator has been lobotomized and that Jefferson should not be allowed to throw the ball, I know that the loss was partially my fault. I am talking about the Sadie factor. I cannot watch an LSU game all the way through in order for us to win. I tried to not watch the 2nd half on Saturday, but I kept popping it on. Now you might think this theory is completely bogus, but let's look at the facts. I actually attended the Tennessee game. I stayed for 3 quarters then had to leave. I went to a neighbor's to catch the end, but could not bear to watch. What happened? A miracle ending. Why? Because I missed it. All of the night games this season? I have not been able to stay up past the half. All of them have been magical victories. Heck, when LSU won the national championships? I missed all of those games. I find the entire thing nerve racking. I love LSU football, but I just should not be allowed to watch. It is a sacrifice. I plan to miss the end of the upcoming Alabama game. Geaux Tigers!

Hating Haters

I was recently catching up on last week's Daily Show, and had an epiphany. You see, I am known by my closest of friends for my disapproval of and hatred of certain things like mayonnaise and Juliet Lewis. Then I saw the error of my ways. The Daily Show likes to show me clips from Glen Beck. And that's when I heard it. Beck said of Woodrow Wilson, "I hate that guy.... I really, really hate that guy." Bitch stole my line; then had the gall to use it again a beloved President. So now the line is ruined. I will try to not hate this fact. It will be difficult. I will now merely disapprove.

Hope is good but prepare for the worst

A dear friend of mine is a couple weeks away from unemployment. She has been interviewing for positions in the non-profit and higher ed realms to no avail. It is a scary and frustrating experience for her. The fortunes in fortune cookies have not been helpful. Her latest fortune read, "Hope is good, but prepare for the worst." No a ringing endorsement for future success. That said, we started thinking of worse fortunes to receive (since she should be prepared.) Here are a few.
You love but are unlovable.
Enjoy today, you might not have tomorrow.
Eat that slice of pizza, a few more pounds won't make a difference at this point.
You got the raise, but your wife earned it.
Why bother
Be grateful for the problems you don't have - yet.

Crazy Cat Lady

The love of my life has a love of his life - his Tonkinese. Tonks are a breed of cat that is a combo of Burmese and Siamese. We currently have two senior Tonks and no local breeders since the one we used died of cancer a couple years ago. Today on Facebook I saw a Tonk that is currently being held in Animal Control. Of course, I am making an effort to pick him or her up and save the cat from euthanasia. Our Tonks are both over 14 years of age. One of them is on borrowed time and won't be with us for much longer. My love wants to always have a Tonk in the house, so I am doing my best to make it happen.

A Letter to a Colleague

Dear ----,
I don't know how to say this to you directly, and I am sure you would not listen even if I did just tell you, but your spouse is a loser. Now, I am not one to randomly throw stones. I understand that not everybody gets my own life choices, but our relationship works. Yours does not seem to. Not only does he look like a toad and lack ambition, but he does not seem to treat you as well as he ought. You are sad and unengaged. I would love to be your friend, but just knowing you are married to him really puts me off of any long term investment in friendship with you. I don't mean to be mean. I have confirmation of his general loser-ness from folks that work with him. No one says, oh, he is a great guy. He is not fun. He is not smart. You really should drop him now before it is too late and complicated. It is still early enough in your marriage to get out unscathed. There are no kids and no complicated finances. Just leave and find happiness.
Ernestly,
Sadie

Letting Go

Anger is slowly draining from my body. Out of the tips of my fingers, through the top of my head, out of the bottoms of my feet. Frustration is quickly fading from my mind. Darting out of my eyes, flying out of my ears, dashing out of my mouth with every breath.