Anniversary Life

Last night was my 21st wedding anniversary. Yes, we've been making the joke that our marriage can now legally drink so it no longer sees the fun in it. While out to drink after a lovely dinner, I got a text from Be the Match. A whole different set of life changing match making was in the works on our wedding anniversary. I appear to be a good match for a 66 year old man with a condition I couldn't spell yet alone recall.

I immediately agreed to do whatever was necessary - after initially considering that I may save the life of a Trump supporting bigot - but I don't ever have to know so I can pretend he works for the Southern Poverty Law Center instead.

Anyway, I was shocked by how emotional I was reacting. I have tears just thinking about this. I can imagine the hope that this man and his family must have with a match a possibility./ Be the Match details the commitment of time, travel and discomfort that will be likely. I don't just go down the road to the hospital and donate some blood like I initially thought. Yes, I get now that the non-surgical donation option involves several days of treatments in advance of several hours of fluid draw. I weigh my discomfort and the annoyance/inconvenience of this again someone else's dying and it seems a pretty clear trade off.

I have just sent in my consent papers to have my initial sample tested further to see if we are indeed a good match for one another and to ensure that the sample provided at the time is not indicative of any health risks. I will keep you posted.....

Thoughts on Marriage

What is the key to staying married? Staying married. Realize that shit is going to crop up and you either deal with it together or you'll deal with it separately. Therapy has a better return on investment than divorce. Realize that there will be days when your spouse gets on your last nerve; when his breathing bugs the shit out of you. 9 times out of 10 - it isn't actually him. It isn't even you. It is stress from work, from bills, your hormones or exhaustion that is being incorrectly but oh so conveniently directed at your spouse. Ignore it and hope that you both don't feel this way at the exact same time.

People claim that marriage is about compromise and sacrifice. I call bullshit on that. Marriage is inherently a selfish act. It is a relationship whereby you are a better you because of your spouse. Together you are the best individuals you can be. A healthy marriage isn't full of sacrifices; it is full of opportunities for growth. Over the last decade or so, we've known you as individuals and as parts of a pair. We can safely say that you've grown well together and that together you are better yous than you are apart.

May your married life be drama free. May your marriage be punctuated by laughter, peppered by doggie kisses, strengthened by your individuality, underpinned by friendship, and reinforced by your love for one another, May you giggle twenty years from now when you look at each other and realize, "we're married."