A Letter from Austin

As part of his pet therapy, I asked that Austin (my 4 year old yellow lab) write a letter expressing his feelings. This first one was a complete flop. He just wrote "throw the ball" over and over again. I asked him to dig a bit deeper. He added the words "now" and "hurry". He just wasn't getting it, so we tried again. I provided some more structure this time and requested that he write the letter to our new puppy, Kurzweil. As Kurzweil is not able to throw balls, the end result was much better. I am enclosing the letter in this blog. Austin spells really well for his age and species.

Dear Puppy:
I don't know your name or where you came from, but I think you need to understand a few basic rules here. Dude, you keep taking my spot on the bed. That is so uncool. Just stop, okay? And calm the fuck down. I mean, come on. I am a yellow lab and I think you are taking this puppy crazy thing too far. I don't appreciate the way you interfere with my cuddling time with the pretty lady. I was here first. I don't appreciate the way you bogart the tennis ball when I am trying to get my morning workout. Another thing... dude, give me some space. You are always like right there. Biting my face and crap. Not cool. I don't want to play with you all the time. I need some Austin time, man. Respect that. Oh, and quit peeing in my house.
There, I have said what I had to say. Got it off my chest. Now, lady throw the ball.
Peace out,
The Aus