Living La Vida White Trash

My brother Joey the Butcher passed his bailbond license exam. Now he is a certified bounty hunter. I am very proud of him for accomplishing this. He set out to get it done and did it. Way to go, Joe!
But I had to harass him for his white trash lifestyle. I think the litmus test for this is - could my life be an episode of Jerry Springer? He lives in the garage of a home he co-owns with our mother. (Check!) He works as a bail bondsman (Double Check!). He loaned his aunt $5K to cover his cousin's legal fees because the cousin went AWOL. Ding, ding, ding! We have a white trash winner.
I must laugh. His life has become a basis for a fabulous sitcom - especially since his house will also be the home of his grandma and maybe his aunt (the one that owes him money still).
Run, Joey, Run! Having unhealthy meals cooked for you and getting free laundry service simply is not a fair trade off. Get a lovely apartment as far away as possible.

Zombie Love

This is for my bubby....
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/08/21/claymation-zombie-fi.html

Discover This

Our state, thanks to our religiously wonky governor (yes, I voted for him anyway), is now the only state in the Union to include "intelligent design" in its science curricula. Sigh. God, I hate the religious right! The Discovery Institute - a right wing creationism center that wraps itself in the preservation of "academic freedom" has apparently led the charge on Louisiana Schools. Of course, these are Louisiana schools which according to their own tests fails regularly to teach the vast majority of their students anything substantive anyway - why not teach them mythology as fact and call it science? But I digress. The Discover Institute has as one of its highlights the "fact" that Hitler believed in Darwinism ergo Darwinism is intrinsically evil. Okay. I'll go along with that only if they accept the premise that the Bible was used to sanction slavery so the Bible must then be evil.

Monday Blues

It is another Monday. Bleh. My darling sister's baby shower was well attended - our beloved sister and her family showed up for the fun to the delight of all. No mother anywhere. And the entire event was drama free. Thanks sister for posting the pics on FB so I know what I missed.
I had an interesting conversation today with Jill over lunch. (Yummy chicken shawerma and fatoush salad.) We were talking about the words that we tend to overuse. I happen to say, "Um," "K," "Yeah" and "fabulous" all the frigging time. They are all mostly positive terms. Yay me. With the exception of "um" which I hope to obviate from my vocabulary, I am not ashamed of the the things I say or oversay as the case may be. Most of my phrases are markers for me to affirm what has been said and then to think before I speak. Perfectly reasonable actions on my part. Fabulous just marks an overall positive outlook. Jill on the other hand says "vicious" a lot. She would much rather use a positive phrase and (rightly in my mind) thinks that the terms we use reflect if not impact our outlooks on life. I want my life to be yummy, fuzzy, beautiful, and most of all fabulous. I don't care if I sound like an idiot.

Why So Serious?

My beloved sister did something she never ever does - called me out of the blue just to check in. I missed the call and it went to voicemail. She sounded very chipper and I am glad to hear from her. But the paranoid me got worried. Maybe she read my blog accusing her of being an instigator?! Then I thought, but she does have a diabolical streak and she ought to be girl enough to cop to that. So I worried less. I know that two of my sisters read this - since they have told me. I don't believe that anyone else in my family reads this. (Attention Family: if you are reading this and your name is neither Mo nor Kat, please give me a head's up now - just leave a comment in the comment section below). If they do read this, I may have to temper some of the things I write about... simply because one of them might take what I am saying seriously. Normally I am only 40% serious in these blogs. I write for the therapy.

High Drama

My darling sister is having her baby shower this weekend. Alas, I cannot make it - as my sister took my advice and lives two plane rides away. For those of you following along at home, I live two plane rides from all of my family (except Billy's family who are in town and I enjoy seeing on a regular basis - Milo is the cutest!). Of course, I could probably live close to my sisters as well, but I think it is probably for the best that they remain two plane rides away.... unless they want to move here! I digress. My sister's baby shower.... Jack and I were invited of course. We sent a gift but will not be there ourselves. We are instead planning a trip to see the baby once it emerges from my sister's hooha and has a name. One of the high points of traveling to see family: you get to visit different places as well. My darling sister lives in Philadelphia - a city Jack and I have yet to explore. We'll stay three nights, see our favorite band AT3, wander through the museums and cityscape, eat and drink our way across Center City, and coo and hold the baby. I will try to remember to coo at my sister a couple of times as well - since she will be exhausted and have a new baby and all.
However, none of this has to do with the title of my blog. The drama. High drama. Must return to the shower.... our mother is not invited. Gasp! Will she show up anyway? Will a certain sister drag her up to Philadelphia just to stir things up? Only time will tell.

But I Really Don't Care

CNN just reported that John Edwards has admitted to an extramarital affair. I am not his wife. Baton Rouge's mayor has been at the end of smear campaign alleging an affair with a married woman. I don't care. I don't mind when hypocrites are exposed for their philandering ways - you know the moralists who try to legislate what I do or do not do in my bedroom. I am firm believer that hypocrisy should be stomped. But marital infidelity is only the business of the people directly involved and their lawyers.

Yesterday Was So Much Better than Today

I totally do not understand people of my generation who wish life was less complicated like back in the 50s or 60s. First of all, our memories of that time do not exist. We only have film reals and stories told by our parents and grandparents. Based on those two items, we think we were just so innocent then. No we weren't. And if you get passed the tales of Jimmy Stewart movies you have two generations that spent time in the killing fields of the Pacific, children practicing duck and cover just in case the bomb drops, and a lack of true global understanding. You still had people doing all of the naughty things that people do. My grandma tells of being kidnapped by a neighbor and rolling out of a moving car. She also tells of losing a sister to a botched illegal abortion - and how she was never mentioned in public. So you had silences and secrets - that is not innocence. These do not make for a safer, better world for our children. I would much rather explain why Jenny has two mommys than have a child who shies away from differences and continues the cycle of prejudice.
Exposure to differences and open conversations about issues like sexuality even on the playground are not evils to be feared. Instead, let's be more open with our children. Let's cultivate a generation of adults who value honesty and live openly.

Sno-fight

Time spent waiting on FedEx delivery = 2 business days
Time to open box = 1min
Time for Milo to discover shipping popcorn= 30 sec
Time spent throwing shipping popcorn= 30 min
Time spent picking up shipping popcorn= 7 days and counting
Memories of a day of fun= timeless

Heebee-Jeebees

http://www.laweekly.com/news/features/palisades-rathouse-unchallenged-by-health-officials-elderly-twins-fed-local-vermin-population/19342/?page=all

I have to agree....

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/31/why-america-is-fcked.html
Only, I think it is just a symptom.