My Fear of Cougars

I am a very happily married woman nearing (oh so close!) my 40s. I am also a pretty major flirt and I like bars.... I think you see where this is going. Yes, I fear being seen as a cougar. I have come to despise the term for no other reason than I don't want to be one. I am not after some twenty something young man. Hell, I can barely keep up with the middle aged stud that I have. ( Hiya honey. How You doin'?) But when I am trying to enjoy my self socially and smile at the bartender as I get my drink.... please don't judge me. Don't think, "who does that cougar think she is fooling?" I would like to hold on to the pretense that I am still hot and relevant. My gray hairs are covered professionally with streaks of blond. My time spent running means that I have a healthy tan and am getting my pert butt back. No real visible wrinkles yet.

I could blame this fear on the blog I read today called Monkeys vs Cougars but that would not be completely fair. I think this fear stems from the fact that I am finally never getting carded. I knew the day would come. I expected it ten years ago in all honestly. But this is the first year that I have only been carded once... and well, let's just say that the instance in question felt contrived. You know one of those moments where some punk ass kid tries to make an old lady feel good. Fuck you! I don't need to be carded to feel young. Okay, may be I do. Still, don't pity card me! Enough of this now. Final thoughts. Call me bitchy. Call me catty. Just please don't call me a cougar. Meow.