I Understand You Are a Dirty Hippy

Look, I understand that you are a dirty hippy. You can still smell like a civilized human being and not a Big Mac. Yes, you have a hipster persona that you must maintain. You don't want to poison your temple of a body with toxic antiperspirants. Fine. I get that. I am not happy about the aluminum in my Secret. However, I must interact with other humans and I don't want to offend them by smelling bad. You know, like you. There are many options that you should explore especially since you live in a swamp and it is June. You don't want your dog think it should roll around on you instead of the dead squirrel carcass in the back yard because you smell worse. Here are my suggestions: 1.) Get rid of your hippy soap and regularly wash (twice a day during the summer please) with a stronger soap like Dial. 2.) Invest in wet wipes. Scrub those arm pits periodically throughout the day (especially while at work) 3.) Buy some deodorant. It does not contain the poisonous chemicals of an antiperspirant. 4.) Try to keep fresh and dry by applying baby powder to those trouble areas. I want you to succeed hipster. But more importantly, I want to be able to stand next you without my eyes watering.