Thursday, November 1, 2012

My body, please back off

So one of the scariest issues facing me right now is the prospect of a Romney/Ryan administration. It would mean the turning back of a century of progress within a single administration. Health care reform would go "bye bye." We would likely get into another pointless war for oil and attack Iran. The economy would go down the toilet. But even more immediate, my rights to birth control and abortion would be completely gone. As I count the days to me next depo provera shot, I am especially worried. I mean, the country will be going to hell in a handbasket and I will be forced to carry a child into it! It is unreal. I have never really understood the whole "pro life" drama that pervades our culture. I read an interesting article the other day in the NY Times about taking back the term "pro-life" from those who use it and yet think that the lives they value really end at conception. Once the child is born it is on its own and if it comes on my property, it will likely be shot. Don't spend my money on its education. Pfft. My own beloved mother is one of those special people who say rosaries for the poor aborted souls. She has gone so far as like Romney on Facebook. Of course it should be noted with the right amount of malice and irony that when her own daughter called from college saying she was pregnant and needed help, my mother was "too busy dealing with her own issues" to help a child into the world. While she never read any Ayn Rand that I know of, the same level of hypocrisy and shallow self-centeredness that makes up the Ryan/Romney ticket shows through. But this is a blog about my body and my fears, not her mind. I read the propaganda and have seen the horrible pictures of fetuses torn asunder. Yes it is horrible. But to my mind nothing is worse than an unloved, unwanted, unhealthy baby. Anyone who can get an abortion matter of factly or worse yet use abortions as their only means of birth control (and I think this group is way smaller than the pro-lifers would have us believe) should not have children!!! It is kind of a win-win situation. I realized a year ago that I definitely was not interested in having a child. Four words: panic attack during sex. You may recall, gentle reader, from an earlier blog that I had decided if Pete Wentz could be a father, I could be a mother. Nope. Turns out that is not true. My dog is in therapy (I will need to write a blog entry about that one in the near future), lord only knows what havoc I would wreak on an actual human child. Anyway, I digress. The ability to secure birth control and the security of knowing that should it fail, I have the option of abortion are things I value highly. Highly. Without that magical shot, my hormones run rampant. I have a 19 day cycle with migraines in between. It is not good for me, my husband or my ability to stay gainfully employed. Let's also discuss for a minute all of the practical health reasons to not have a child. There are enormous health risks for me the at-risk mother not to mention a fair chance that I will end up with post-pardum issues including everyone's favorite "post pardum psychosis." Both of us spent years on anti-depressents which have been tied directly to birth defects. We can skip over the high school and college years where we ingested chemicals that may or may not have impact on our DNA. Let's get to the fact that we are old. Our eggs and sperm have increased chances of all kinds of defects including Downs Syndrome. I live in a state that does not provide adequate resources to properly nurture this child's needs. And of course, if pro-lifers Ryan and Romney have a go, there won't be any federal resources to aid me either. Furthermore, why should someone's religious beliefs impact my daily life? I don't even believe in the existence of your god, why should he have a say on what I do with my body? We should never engage in marital relations unless we are willing and eager to have a child result? That is insane. We'll have to switch to anal.

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