Priorities

Football is king at our school. This is followed closely by basketball and baseball. We are an SEC school and we value our athletics program. Since if you google the institution or search YouTube for material about the school, you will find football and then some other sports-related material en masse, it makes sense that you would align university relations with Athletics. Obviously they have been doing something right in terms of marketing. It is sort of the "if we can't beat them, let's join them" mentality. If people are going to say we are a football school (and they always have but we are no longer a top 20 party school) then let's give up on pretending any differently. Athletics is a key part of the university experience so now we have a vice chancellor for athletics. That means that we are being honest in our priorities. Well, actually we would make the football coach our chancellor if we were being truly honest - but he wouldn't like the pay cut.

EQ

A few weeks ago I participated in a three day seminar on Emotional Intelligence. I took a test and my results demonstrate that I have room to grow emotionally. Fortunately I already knew that. I also feel quite strongly that the value of EQ cannot be easily dismissed. Sure part of me has the same reaction as many of you - what are we going to talk about our feelings, hold hands and sing? However the other part of me - the more emotionally grounded and mature side (the side I keep very well hidden)recognizes that being emotionally savvy is what leads to success. Many of you wonder what we talked about over three days. Mostly we talked about you. Actually we discussed the ill effects of toxic people on work environments, understanding the role that emotional baggage plays in communication, and opportunities for individuals to grow and become more savvy in their communications. For instance, it is not a good idea to treat a complete idiot like you think they are a complete idiot. Sure they are dumber than dirt and it pisses you off that you have to deal with them. However dumb people don't like to be reminded of their failures. Really they should be admired. They have gotten by on shear luck and their ability to convincingly deflect their inadequacies. The dumber someone is, the nicer your tone should be (not condescending and keep all frustration out of your voice). What keeps people from succeeding is not a lack of talent or smarts - its their inability to properly filter what they say and play nicely with others. Certainly I am infamous for some of the truths that fly out of my mouth. I had to learn that there is a time and a place. My filter is firmly in place at meetings with external folks. In fact I seem like a totally different person (to me at least). Packets of my wisdom only pop out when I want them to for strategic reasons - that is a function of EQ.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

I have very few fears in life... rats, blinding poverty, rats, and winding up like a few other women that I know (did I say rats?). I've been to therapy so I no longer fear becoming my mother. I am way too much like my father for that to happen anyway. And I am working to not grow up to be quite so him. There are a few women in the office that I am like, "please god, strike me down with an anvil immediately" if I become like them. They are the busybody, the spazz, and the lost one. I take care of myself (okay, my roots are getting scary) for the most part and I am trying to live a healthy, happy life so hopefully I won't end up like the spazz. You should not be able to smell me coming and want to gag. I shouldn't become the lost one. My mind is wonderfully intact. Yes, I admit I have my retarded moments (I could not find bubble breaker on my new device because I forgot to look under games) but they are generally cute, right? Its the busybody that I mostly fear becoming. You know the one that likes to impose rules and enforce them like a 2nd grade teacher? See, I have the inclination to get into everyone's business and provide valuable but unsolicited advice. I need to not do that so often, I think. I like some rules, but I don't like stupid rules. Why for instance does the "fire door" downstairs have to be closed and locked? I'm pretty sure that "closed" would suffice per fire codes. But I am not the keeper of these rules and regulations. Instead, I get to complain about them. And while I know that the same people leave gross stuff in the fridge for months at a time - I am not out to "get them" for breaking rules. I just think they are dirty and gross. I have no need to share my findings. I like knowing. Its my secret and their shame. So as long as I keep stuff to myself, complain and don't enforce - I should be safe. Right?
PS... roots will be gone on Saturday.

Yes, I have a problem with that

I do not like getting needlessly confrontational emails especially ones that are broadcast to the entire organization. It pisses me off for an entire week. So a certain gentleman decided to get serious about our need to recycle. We have apparently not been doing this properly. Fine, send out a friendly reminder about the process for recycling. Do not threaten to "take names" - I'm like, so? Oooh... I am going to get into trouble if I throw away a box instead of flattening it and placing it in the recycling bin. What exactly are you planning to do with this list of names? Tattle? To whom? What supervisor is going to deny a promotion or lay off someone because they failed to properly recycle a box? Should I expect this as part of my regular employment review? Am I going to get a talking to? Do I care? If it is from you... well I have the finger ready. Perhaps there will be a shame list placed on the lunchroom's bulletin board? Again, big deal. I am now likely to not recycle simply to see what you will do. I dislike being threatened. It gets my hackles up and unleashes the petty 16 year old rebel inside me. And she can cause a lot of grief. Fortunately the ability to send out threatening broadcasts can be taken away......Like how I end it in a threat? Doesn't feel good, does it?

A poem? Ode to the puddle

Oh mystery puddle
how do you do?
Did someone's inability
to aim make you, you?
I don't understand how
you came to be
Between the door and the seat
is nowhere to pee.
And yet there you sit
taunting all around
But you're still better
than shit right there on the ground

Some People

Spoke to my stepmother over the 4th of July weekend. She and my dad are watching my step-nephew and nieces because their mom is recovering from surgery and their dad has decided he is no longer interested in being a father. What a dick. After over a decade of marriage and three beautiful kids, he has decided to walk away from his marriage and his responsibilities. You don't want to be married anymore? Fine. But you don't get to just stop being a father... especially when the kids need you. Be a fricking man already. Grandma and Grandpa should not have to step up and be stand-in parents because you have teen feelings. The kids can sleep over at your new bachelor pad while your soon to be ex-wife recovers from the hysterectomy necessitated in part by giving birth to your children (you know the ones you wanted at the time). They should not become the responsibility of people who already did their part... raising their own children.
The decision to have a family - to have children is not a something you did on a whim. The three kids were not accidents. You and your wife decided that you wanted a family together. Beyond your simple marriage vows, you made a commitment to the children to be a father and to your wife to co-parent. If you don't want to be a parent, then keep it wrapped up and make sure your partner knows she will be on her own before conception takes place. It is more honest.

Well now that is just wrong

I have to confess, I have a severely wicked sense of humor. I am that person that when she hears someone pumping in the rest room is tempted to moo. It's true. I don't do it... well, just silently in my head. Now, I am actually pro-breast feeding. I think it is the right way to go and I admire nursing moms for their dedication to their children. Its just something about the noise that the electronic milking machines make that immediately takes me back to my childhood and that tour of the dairy farm. The other completely inappropriate impulse I have involves the individual I loving refer to as "crazy runner lady." This poor crazy woman who cannot possible have an actual job as she is constantly running through the neighborhood and across town is actually quite ill. The largest part of her body is her calf muscle. I kid you not. She obviously has some sort of horrible mental problem like anoxeria or body dysmorphia. She looks horrible. You can be too skinny. Her face is all sunken in and I'm sure she looks years older than her age. I want to yell things like "Move your fat ass" from the comfort of my car. There. I said it. I am a bit evil. In the words of SBC, "Build a bridge and get over it."

Yes, I am am that crazy....

For the last decade I have been taking 50 mg of a drug called trazodone each and every night. I started taking the drug to curb panic attacks and help me sleep without worrying about the cats accidentally catching fire. (hey, it could happen) Now, ten years later, I no longer have a stressful job, my life is happy and harmonious, I exercise regularly and I figure let's try and wean off of it. I know not to go cold turkey so I cut the dosage in half and for a week try taking just 25mg each night. I was fine until day 5. That's when my brain started to hum. I was still sleeping pretty well, but by the end of the day, I was distracted and a bit distant. My brain was not functioning on all cylinders or maybe it was working on too many at the same time. I just don't know. But my husband kept giving me that worried look and asking if I were okay - that's my trigger for knowing that I am not. So last night I took the full 50. My neurochemistry is still not back to where it should be, but I am confident I will be fine in a few days.