Just so wrong....

I went today to visit a friend of mine who is currently in the hospital. She has been battling cancer for a VERY long time now. Her current round of chemo has landed her in the hospital on IV foods. Needless to say, she is thin to the extreme or as I call it, "holocaust thin." The sick and horrible part? (Other than the terrible fact that she is suffering and so ill) A part of me envies her thinness. There I said it. My weight continues to creep upwards despite my best efforts and daily run. I realize that I would not want to suffer what she is suffering - I would have given up years ago - I'm too lazy for anything chronic. I hate that she is so thin since it means she is so close to death. But that little tiny part admires the size of her wrist and the definition of her cheekbones. I blame society.