This Morning - The Onion Article

Headline: Man Stunned by Woman Running
A jackass in an over-sized truck stopped traffic in order to watch a woman running. The jackass, who wished to remain unnamed, apologized to the three cars behind him and the fourth car stopped at the intersection. Apparently he did not know that women ran and that their breasts sometimes bounce. "I had no idea. Nature simply stuns me, " explained the unabashed motorist.
The jackass was turning left northbound on Eugene at 8:40am on Wednesday. There was no southbound traffic to speak of, but several cars were behind his truck and a lone motorist was awaiting her turn to enter the road from an adjacent intersection. Gape-mouthed, the jackass took the time to watch a middle-aged woman's chest bounce as she approached and finally passed his vehicle. Two minutes later, the motorists were glad to be once again in motion.
Staci Rittner was in a Honda behind the jackass motorist. "I was late for work, and this giant truck was just stopped with his left turn signal on. I kept waiting to see a car pass on the left, but it never came."